David's Greatest Wish

While David and I were waiting in the pick up line at Leah's preschool the other day, we had a good conversation about our future baby. First of all, any time we've asked the kids whether they thought the baby would be a boy or a girl, David has always said it is going to be a boy and Leah has always said it is going to be a girl. Naturally! So, David was talking about his hypothetical baby brother as we waited for Leah the other day. He was insisting that we name the baby David. I lightheartedly drew his attention to all of the reasons that would not work so well. ("When I yell 'David' up the stairs, how will you know which David I need?") He quickly decided another David would not be the best idea. I asked him what other names we might use for the baby, and he said "Sarah?" to which I replied that, yes, we had been thinking about the name Sarah if the baby is a girl. He said something along the lines of "Oh, a girl named Sarah? Maybe we'll have a boy and a girl." I told him that would be great, but explained that it would probably be a boy OR a girl.

Fast-forward to this afternoon. David heard me finalizing some baby-sitting with my sister, Aubrey. She has agreed to watch David and Leah while Jeff and I meet with our adoption worker. I had told David earlier today that he'd get to play with his cousin Jacob on Wednesday because Mommy and Daddy were going to go to Indianapolis. While I was on the phone with Aubrey, David asked if we were going to Indianapolis today. I reminded him that, no, we'd be going on Wednesday. Both kids wanted to know why we were going to Indianapolis, so I explained we were going to meet with our adoption worker. I told them the adoption worker would help us when we adopt our baby. I was quick to say that we weren't getting our baby on Wednesday (I knew that would be the next question). David looked at me with his big, blue eyes and a serious face and replied, "Well, could you please tell him that we need a boy and a girl?" I gave him a squeeze and told him I would but that I still wasn't sure it would happen. ;-)

I'm glad the kids are excited about the new baby. I can't help but notice how excited they are when they get to be around their younger cousins and other babies and children at church and play group. They are just in awe, and I think that's really cool!

Adoption Training

Yesterday was our latest adoptive parents training—this time, in the Nashville, Tennessee area. It’s usually been in Indianapolis, Indiana, or Louisville, Kentucky, but our agency is planning to open a new office in Nashville, so our agency director has had his area of responsibility increased while he prepares the area and trains a new director, down there.

As members of FSA (Families Supporting Adoption), we generally attend these conferences every six months, or so. The classes are always great, and the kids love hanging out and playing with the other attendees’ children. This time, we were also asked to participate in a session on grief and loss, which was really great: we discussed not only the grief and loss of infertility (which is an issue shared by most adoptive parents), but also the grief and loss experienced by both birthparents and adoptive parents, throughout the adoption process. Having been through it before, both we and Leah’s birthparents know it’s absolutely worth it, but sometimes the things that are most worth doing are also the hardest to do. (Ask any parent!) ;-)

On a personal note, I’m thrilled to be back home and finally have nothing in particular coming up, to take me away. After two weeks’ vacation in New Jersey and Maryland, a week working on site at a client’s office in Georgia, a long Saturday in Illinois, and now a weekend in Tennessee, I’ve probably traveled more in the last six weeks than in the last year before that! Of course, I suppose when “our” birthparents (whoever they may be) finally contact us to come pick up our new child, I’ll be right back on that car and/or plane, and absolutely ecstatic to do so. :-D

Dear Birthparents

Dear friends,

Thank you for taking the time to look learn more about us. We know your minds and hearts must be full as you consider all of the decisions and possibilities you are facing. We wish you peace and comfort at this time. Maybe we’ll have the opportunity to get to know you better in the future, but for now here is a little about us.

We’ve been best friends for nearly 19 years, married for almost 12, and have a relationship based on love, respect, friendship, and an overdeveloped sense of humor. We enjoy having fun together: playing board games, reading, watching movies, mini-golfing, writing silly songs, and just basically making our own entertainment wherever we go.

Jeff

First of all, I own my own technology consulting firm, and to be perfectly honest, I love my job‚ not only because I enjoy what I do, but also because I can work almost exclusively from home. Kids going to a friend’s or the park, to play? l help load them into the car or stroller. Mommy has an appointment? I keep an eye on the kids. Someone’s sad and wants Daddy? I pop downstairs for a hug. It’s a wonderful way to live, and I hope I never have to give it up.

The family I grew up in doesn’t live nearby, but I keep in touch with them via phone and e-mail, so I rarely go more than a few days without talking to Mom, Dad, or my sister. The kids love to videochat with Grandma and Pop, and being the crazy grandparents that they are, they usually make the 1,600-mile round trip, about 5-6 times per year‚ perhaps more, now that they’re both retired.

When I’m not at work or church, most of my spare time is spent with my family‚ Anna, the kids, my in-laws, etc.‚ but when I get that rare chance to have some time to myself, I usually do a little web surfing, watch some TV, or lie down and enjoy a good book. (My favorite fictional author is Douglas Adams, but I’ll read just about anything that’s lying around.)

Anna

While it is the most challenging job I’ve ever had, I feel very blessed to be able to stay at home with our children. I treasure being there for all of their imaginative play (and it’s fun to join in with them, too!). I enjoy seeing them learn and grow. I am rich in hugs, kisses, and snuggles.

When I get a quiet moment, I like to spend a little time developing my hobbies and interests. I enjoy reading, so I usually have at least one book on my nightstand at a time, and I participate regularly in a book group. I also enjoy trying new recipes and spend a fair amount of my free time browsing recipe databases and websites. I am a member of a couple of "mommy" websites and enjoy posting and blogging there. One of my favorite activities is working out. I like to walk, run, bike, and hike. I recently completed my first 5K. Though I don’t consider myself a crafty person, I do try crafts from time to time. I have found a few I enjoy and am actually pretty good at including jewelry making and making felt hair clips for our daughter.

We spend a lot of time with my parents and siblings. Many of them live nearby, and we get together at least every other Sunday for dinner. My sister is really my best friend. We talk or instant message on an almost-daily basis. Our children play together a lot, especially when we trade baby-sitting for date nights and other appointments. Our families have been there for us through all of our triumphs and struggles, and we feel blessed and proud to belong to such wonderful people.

Leah

Leah has always been an interesting mix of independence and love. She likes to do her own thing‚ especially if she can get her brother to do it, with her‚ but she’s so sensitive to others’ feelings: “Why are you sad?” “Why are you happy?” “May I hug you?” etc.. She really is an incredibly sweet little girl, and we’re just as incredibly blessed to be her parents.
Leah loves to run, dance, sing, and watch Dora the Explorer; and she especially loves being a big sister to her favorite little guy in the world. Leah is currently interested in anything and everything to do with princesses. She regularly holds pretend princess parties and something she invented called “dance outs.”

Through adopting Leah, we developed a deep love and respect for her birthparents. We love to see how proud they are of her. We love sharing stories about how her talents are developing. We love how happy they are with how she is doing. We love that they love her. We love that they love us! We truly feel we gained more than a daughter when we adopted Leah; we gained an entirely new branch of our family, and our lives have been enriched by this blessing.

David

David is an incredibly sensitive little boy, always hugging and kissing and thanking everyone around. He seems to have inherited Leah’s love of singing, though we’re a pretty musical family to begin with. He also enjoys running, jumping, and climbing. While at play, he is quite active and is all boy. When it’s time to settle down for a quiet moment, though, David shows more of his sensitive side and is quite happy to snuggle with the closest family member.

David’s current passion is a Lego set that his aunt got him, for his birthday. Whenever he’s not running around and/or getting into things, we know to take a peek in the toy room, where he’ll be stacking them up, building a house or‚ more likely‚ a tower (or "towee," as he says it).

As Mommy and Daddy, our children are the center of our lives and we can’t imagine anything more wonderful than having them with us forever. We love watching them learn and grow: reading to them, playing with them, making their favorite meals, tucking them in at night; all this and more make for a life so beautiful that we sometimes can’t imagine what we’ve done to be so blessed. Yet at the same time, there’s a special place in our hearts just waiting to be filled by a another special little boy or girl.

We hope this letter has been helpful in getting to know us a little better. Again, we wish you peace and comfort as you plan for your future and the future of your child.

Sincerely,

Jeff and Anna